The Grossest Thing Ever

Well most of you would know from my previous blogs that I have actually been quite sick for some time now.

It all started when I left England - or actually maybe before, because to be fair, in the whole month of December I only had 2 nights in at home, and was trying to wrap up my job, pack up my life and say goodbye to everyone - suffice to say I was most definitely burning the candle at both ends! It was exceptionally hard, when you consider as well that we were taking 70 odd kids away on a music camp in the middle of all this palaver too. So it was no wonder I started to develop a bit of a cold. I wasn't too bothered about it, I thought that it would go once I got home and settled into holiday mode for a bit.

But I was wrong, and it is now March, and still the cold hasn't gone.  If anything, its got worse.

I have been to doctor after doctor - and at what cost - and still they don't know what's wrong.  I had to see 2 GPs before they would finally give me antibiotics, but they didn't work.  So the GP then referred me for tests for whooping cough - which came back negative - plus I had to go have a chest x-ray.  Then I was referred to an ENT and they found out I have some nasal polyps - after he sent me for a CT scan or something, plus a skin allergy test.  So when I went back to him, he was more interested in the fact that my ears haven't popped for 3 months, so he referred me to an audiologist.  The audiologist discovered that there is no real reason why my ears won't pop - plus my hearing seems to be in normal levels (despite my raging tinnitis).  So now the GP has referred me to another specialist - a respiratory one - but they phoned whilst I was working and didn't leave a message or a contact phone number, so I can't get on to them.  Meanwhile I have another specialist appointment on Tuesday (but this is about another matter).  I've been poked, prodded, pierced, pricked - you name it, they've done it - and so far it has been for nothing.  But it certainly hasn't cost me nothing!

I reckon I've spent easily $1000 since embarking on this medical journey of discovery, and there's still more to go!  The worst of it, though, is the absolutely disgusting, incredibly vile thing that the ENT has got me doing.   As I said, he has discovered some yukky nasal polyps - but rather than operate on them (he says they're too small), he's got me squirting $40 drops up my schnozz - and as if that wasn't bad enough, I have to "wash my nose".  Now that doesn't sound so bad - til you think about it.  How does one wash the inside of one's nose?  Do you need to shove a face washer up there, a bar of soap, what?

No, what it entails is far, far worse.  Firstly, you must boil up some water and then let it cool to a lukewarm temperature (which takes long enough in itself - you try doing this first thing in the morning before going to work!).  Then, pour said lukewarm water into a squeezy plastic bottle, adding a special sachet of white powder (sounds like something illegal, doesn't it? Hehehe...).  Shake bottle to dissolve powder (oops, don't forget to cover the little hole at the top!), then position bottle's nozzle underneath the left nostril, and squeeze!  What do you get?  A nasal enema... how disgusting...

Oh, and did I forget to mention?  You have to make sure your head is titled far forward over the sink, so that the water comes out the opposite nostril - otherwise it goes back down your throat... euwww, gross...

And how long does this little performance have to go on for?  Every morning for the next TWO MONTHS!!!!  Aaaggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!  Kill me now, please........!